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[02 Sep 2004|07:05pm] |
Okay so I feel like complete shit. That's cool.
I haven't seen Jared since what... Saturday? My party...
We were supposed to go out tonight.
But I can barely breathe and/or move due to whatever the hell sickness I decided to get.
This morning, at work.. I was fine for maybe 3 hours. After that, I was popping cough drops and leaning against the belt to keep me up. And Miss fucking Devaney was the other cashier and doesn't know how the fuck to do her job so I had everyone coming to my line due to her slow ass. Then at 12 when i was SUPPOSED to leave, we got a burst of people and he wouldn't let me close so I was there even longer. I was a bitch to my boss today. He'll get over it.
I came home and ate. Fell asleep and woke up realizing 'oh shit I hafta pick up mom at 3' so I couldn't go back to sleep. Joy. Picked her up, came home. Attempted to pass out, not caring about dinner. Didn't happen. Texted Jared while feeling like the biggest bitch ever for letting him down for the SECOND night in a row. I feel so bad, I don't want him thinking I'm avoiding him... I REALLY feel like complete shit tonight.
So therefore, at the moment I feel sick, my eyes are burning, my throat hurts, I can't breathe through my nose, I'm hot, my stomach hurts and I'm very uncomfortable and I'm stressed out because I know he gets paranoid and I don't want him thinking I'm lying to him. Meh.
Fuck this. I'm going to bed.
Jared- I'm sorry :( <3
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[31 Aug 2004|05:41pm] |
I'm seperating the pictures into 2 entries cuz there's a lot of them. Sorry they're crappy, I had to take pics of them with the digi. cam cuz my scanner is messed up.
( first batch of pictures )
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[16 Aug 2004|10:36pm] |
eeeeeeeeeee!
Julie has a boyfrieeeeend.
:D
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[03 Aug 2004|09:23pm] |
Okay guys... due to my mom being herself, I hafta make a list of whose invited to the bonfire... So here it is and if you wanna be on it, tell me. If you want someone else on it, tell me. :)
( list )
Date is August 28
Time is 7pm-whenever
I'm scared to know how you guys are planning on parking at my house though lol...
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[28 Jul 2004|11:54pm] |
so uh... someone replied to a post I made earlier saying the following:
"u wanna be in control, especialy of frends/relationships. u like the drama. ur an evil b*tch at times. u dont know wat u want, or y u might want something. u like mind games, or so it seems. u open ur mouth bout people/things especialy wen u should have no say on them, or the matter at hand. so in other words, let things flow, deffinetly shut the fuck up, and take things in stride. no one would have the balls to tell u this stuff, until now. so ur welcome! and remember, dont control what u cant have, and think be4 u act or speak..."
now I'm pretty damn sure I know who said it and it sucks that's you'd say that. And nowI feel the need to defend myself.
1)I like to be in control? I care for my friends and I support them no matter what they do. I CAN'T control anyone and I know that, nor would I want to.
2)I LIKE the drama? You have to be kidding me. That's all I have to say on that one.
3)I'm an evil bitch... so be it. I guess I just suck that much.
4)I don't know what I want at times. Yeah, I know that- so does that mean something bad? Are you telling me you're always 100% positive of everything...
5)I like mindgames. Now if I'm right about who this is- you're talking about Chris or Bryan. Just do me a favor and stay out of it for now k?
6)I open my mouth about people/things when I have no say. Sorry to say- I can have say in whatever the hell I want and so can you. It's the way things work. I don't get involved unless I'm worried about someone.
7)Let things flow, shut the fuck up and take things in stride eh? Well see, I attempted the let things flow deal but you wouldnt let that happen. You had to nose in about everything which made things worse for me.
8)I think things through a lot. I don't regret anything I've done because what I do, I think about beforehand. I'm not stupid.
You're the only one who even said one bad thing about me on that entry. Look- right now I'm happy, I'm pretty damn sure of myself and what I'm doing. I don't know... normally I would agree with you but things are different and I like where I am and who I am at the moment but thanks for your input anyways. <3
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[24 Jul 2004|07:47pm] |
"Post exactly what you think of me, post it anonymously. I wont try to figure out who you are, or ask you. Don't be afraid to say anything you want, because I wont know who you are. If you don't know me well, thats okay too. You can still post what you think. I don't think many people are actually going to do this but if it's anonymous I know people are telling the truth."
hmm... I'm scared.
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[17 Jul 2004|10:18pm] |
comment to be added.
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[15 Jul 2004|05:33pm] |
Life only gets better. * note sarcasm*
My drawer at work was under by a lot supposedly, but Sam was on it too. So apparently we're both in trouble for it. Don't know why it's under, nor do I really care right now. Fire me, I promise I won't mind.
Mom wants me to go see my grandmother in the hospital. I hate hospitals, and I don't want to see her hooked up to shit.
I never ask my parents to drive me anywhere. I ask if he can drive me to warped tour.. his reponse.. "no" of course. Thanks for the favor.
Tried calling Kat the last few days on her cell and at home. No answers at either. She always answers her phone. I wanted to hang out with her yesterday but I guess she was at Shanes? I don't know.
I'm leaving LJ. I have a new diary somewhere else so see ya later. I might come back every once in awhile but *shrug* who cares anymore. Things are changing
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[14 Jul 2004|09:19pm] |
What a great fucking day..
Mom picks me up from work and first thing she says when we get to the parking lot is "I have good news, bad news, and some more bad news." GREAT!
Good news: My dad bought a boat (woopdefuckingdo! ANOTHER boat, just what we need in our driveway.)
Bad news: My grandmother is in the hospital, she had a stroke. (my grandmother I rely on for everything. She was told she had 10 more years to live but they dont know how this stroke is gonna play out now. Great.)
Bad news: My fucking sister in law kicked my brother out today and told him to say goodbye to his two daughters. WHAT?! Those girls are his life, and MY life! He called my mom hysterically crying and doesn't want to even live if he can't see his girls. She's gonna have a huge wake up call when I fucking show up to her house tomorrow. Fucking bitch. I love those two with all my heart and she can't fucking take them away from me. My brother is at his friends house. 23 years old, he shouldnt be living like this still. I fucking hate that bitch with everything in me now. I just want to scream. FUCK YOU ANGEL. GO FUCKING DIE.
Fuck it all.
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[13 Jul 2004|11:14pm] |
I just read Kat's entry and it made me think about some things. Like how she's gonna go to the mall with Bryan and Shane and then says "maybe I'll invite Shea." It makes me sad, I used to be part of that group but that got fucked up and I'm guessing both Bryan and Shane don't like me very much anymore. But I guess if they don't like me, then they don't like me for who I am so I shouldn't be sad/mad. But it also means I don't get to hang out with Kat as much because we spent a lot of time with them and I don't think I'm exactly welcome at Shane's anymore... meh.
I need a good laughing fit. Ya know, one where you can't breathe because you're laughing so hard and I don't think I've had one of those since when Nora visited me. LMAO Nora you remember- "raise your fists because we've got the fucking numbers!!" lol that was a good night...
So yeah... not much else going on. I'm officially in love with Ryan Cabrera though... mmm. Courtney knows what I'm talking about lol.
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[12 Jul 2004|05:37pm] |
Today-
Woke up at 9:30. Drove mom to work at 11:30. Hung out at home for awhile. Picked up Allie at the school at 2:45. Picked mom up from work at 3.
Allie and I went to Bob's and walked around, didn't find anything.
Went to walmart and she bought chalk and candy and I bought stuff for my scrapbook thing and some candy. It was fun though, who doesn't have fun in walmart? Dropped Allie off at 4:45ish and managed to get home from her house in a few minutes so I'd be home in time. Now I'm just hanging out, waiting for dinner.
I'm not sure what's up with the Kat thing. I don't know how pissed she is or anything but I honestly still think what I said.
Kat- I know you have a lot going on, and I want to be there for you but you don't tell me what's wrong or what's going on. You know if I had known about your mom I would've been there for you in a heartbeat. I still don't agree with the smoking to "make a point" because you broke a promise to me in order to do it. I'm just worried about you and I don't want you ending up how a lot of people end up, one thing DOES lead to the other. I love you to death and you should know that but I can't take back what I said, because I really feel like this time- I'm 100% sure of what I think.
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[11 Jul 2004|11:41am] |
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I don't know why I bother caring.
I don't care if you get pissed.
So apparently it's alright for person2 to hand ciggs over to person1 like they're nothing. person2, person1's supposed "best friend" is like "here's another, go kill yourself some more."
and YES person1 it IS his fault. If he's such a good friend he would say NO to you, I don't care if you're on the ground crying for one, he should never give it to you.
as for you- The one who always says everytime you see them smoke it makes you want to cry because of your cousin. this is so HYPOCRITICAL. You wanna kill yourself in the most disgusting way possible- have at it, but don't expect me to be around you much at all.
"Omg I cry when I see them smoke" *whips out a cigg*
ugh. oh and about person3. You might as well be going out with yourself for fucks sake! He does nothing but sit on his fat ass all day and then you run to his house to WATCH HIM SIT ON HIS FAT ASS ALL DAY! I supported you guys at first but this is ridiculous. You complain about him more than you enjoy the relationship.
I know you're not gonna agree with anything I just said but like you tell me...
"open those pretty little eyes of yours, you're in denial."
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[10 Jul 2004|11:32pm] |
Good night.
Talked to Tim who said to go to the bowling alley. I called Mark and asked him if he wanted to go. Picked up Mark at 8:30ish and went to the bowling alley. It was me, Tim, Mark, Dave and Dubie. Hung out there until 10, then Mark and I came to my house. We walked in the dark over to Kat's for a fire, Tim showed up awhile after. Hung out there until 11:20ish. I had to sneak in because I was either supposed to be home by 10 or find somewhere to spend the night.
I'm worried about Kat. Something happened on Friday and she won't tell me about it. She seemed really depressed and I could tell, when normally she acts happy. It kinda seemed like she didn't want to talk to me. Especially when I was on the phone with her- both on Friday night and tonight. Then I said "I'll call you" and it seemed like she was trying to find a reason for why I couldn't. I dunno.
Mark... he's getting better socially which is cool. He actually talks and stuff now lol. I'm gonna keep on having him hang out with me, hopefully without Keith's comments. Don't get me wrong- I love Keith to death, I HAVE TO, but damn he's obnoxious sometimes.
Yeah okay, I'm out.
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[10 Jul 2004|01:23pm] |
I'm back from Cape Cod. I'm glad I went, I think I needed it.
Here's an update on what happened.
Saturday- Arrived at the cottage at 3:30. Hung out most of the day and got settled. At night, went to the beach and they had fireworks a day early. It was AMAZING. I don't feel bad about missing them here anymore. The beaches don't end and at every beach, public or private- fireworks were being set off. You never knew where to look- to the left, the right, in back of you, in front of you. It was awesome. People were setting off fireworks for over three hours that night. You could see the reflection of them in the ocean and then the moon would come up- just crazy.
Sunday- Woke up and crazy ideas start to fly. The best one- parasailing. Yes me, the one afraid of heights and deep oceans- went parasailing. It was so AWESOME. One of the best things I've ever done. Only Kayla and I went parasailing but it rocked. Our boat driver people were maybe 25-ish and so funny. The driver was mooning the boat in back of us, they knew eachother and the other boat driver got on his speaker and is like "Michael that's your best side... but don't make an ass of yourself." Oh man, it was good times on that boat. So yeah, they also dunked us when we went parasailing. We thought we were just getting pulled in, but then we hit the water and got pulled back out lol. It was great.
Monday- lazy day. Slept late and hung out.
Tuesday- CBI! Chatham Bars Inn. It's a hotel for rich people basically and Kayla's uncle works there so we got in and got VALET parking for free lol. At CBI, they do a boat ride out to this other island, basically a private island for people at the hotel. We took the boat ride (for free.) The boat driver= EXTREMELY hot and nice, even if he pretended to push me off the boat. He brought us to see the seals. SO COOL. I've only seen seals in a zoo, these things were just out there, in the ocean. It was awesome. Got to the island and there's huge waves. The water was freezing but we had fun, of course. Left when it started getting foggy.
Went back to the cottage and I'm sitting there relaxing, I look out the window and at the "party house" across the street- two guys are sitting on there front yard with a BONG. So yeah, that was my amusement for the whole afternoon. It was so funny.
Wednesday- BEACH! Awesome at the beach. The water felt like bath water. Stayed there alllll day.
Thursday- LMAO. Provincetown. I think that's all there is to say. Guys holding hands is so cute- Kayla's mom wouldn't stop awwing! And at one time, she squeaked because she saw two guys kiss. lmao.
Friday- Beach day again. Kayla got attacked by a crab we think lol.
Today- got up, packed, and left. big time :(
NO DRAMA<NO BOY PROBLEMS<NO BITCHY PEOPLE<FUN! :)
Oh yeah, and bunnies run around all over the place at our cottage. :)
The end.
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[02 Jul 2004|10:34pm] |
Yeah. Today.
Woke up at 7, fed my dog. Fell back asleep until I heard a door slam. My parents came home. So yeah, I got up and watched some TV. After awhile, I got dressed so I could bring my mom to Shaw's to check her schedule. Went home and talked to Shea. Picked him up and we went to his work and then to Bob's so he could look for something. I dropped him off and went home. Called Kat and met her outside and went to my house for a bit. Walked to Shane's, came home. Drove to work and then picked up Kat at the bowling alley. Went home for a minute and went back to the bowling alley. Stayed there until 10:10ish and came home.
I think my mom will let me drive at night now because I came home with the car in one piece lol. But yeah, it was an alright day.
I won't be updating until July 10th. I leave tomorrow for Cape Cod nad I'm feeling iffy on if I really want to go... :\
*shrug* oh well, I don't have a choice now.
Kat- did you "casually bring it up?"
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[02 Jul 2004|12:44am] |
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Woke up around 11. Called Kat and told her to come over. Waited for her while avoiding Kayla. Shea showed up at a 'random time' and got here before Kat. Then Kat showed up and we all hung out. Shea cooked us lunch (grilled cheese and ham sandwiches) AGAIN. And by cooked, I mean THOROUGHLY cooked... aka burnt. Courtney came over. Shea pierced his ear and then we lit all my sparklers in the house. Played with fire and such.
Walked to Kats and decided to go to funworld. I called work and said I didnt have a ride til 6 that way i could go. Went to funworld and had fun. Came abck and I went to work at 5:30, stayed until 10. I went upstairs and watched tv until Dan came up and we went to my house to get stuff, then to his house.Worked sucked, I'm not even gonna go into it. Note to Kat: Sorry I was being all lonerish and blah. I just really wante to go home. Talked to Dan about some stuff today too... yeah. Um yeah, I got Kats mom to bring me home at like 12:30 cuz I didnt wanna leave my dog alone overnight. So here I am. I was gonna go to Stephans with Dan, Kevin and Kat but that never happened. :\
I have to clean. I figure if I clean the mess of my house tonight, I can just sleep in tomorrow. Tomorrow will be fun hopefully... meh.
I hafta decide if I wanna go to the cape. I really don't want to but I also think I would change my mind if I actually go. Meh. I feel like crap. This week was supposed to be fun. Which I guess parts were, but overall I feel like crap. Although I don't miss my parents at all, which is weird. I thought I would. *Shrug*
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[01 Jul 2004|12:46am] |
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*sigh of relief*
Kayla finally went to bed.
Alright... today.
Woke up a lot to my dog whining. Got up and fed him. Did nothing for a long time. Kay went too driver's ed. Then Kat, Kay and I went to the mall. Fun stuff. Mr.Prep 1,2,and 3. Called Matt at like 9ish and told him to come over at like 9:15-9:30 and we could hang out. We pull in the driveway and Matt's sitting there in his car taking a nap lmao. So yeah we hung out and stuff and then played with fire. He went home at 11ish. Came in and ate, Kay went to bed so I'm doing this.
Tomorrow's my last day without parents. :( Plans for tomorrow:
*Courtney's coming over
*Matt's coming over
*Hanging out with Shea and Kat
*Possibly hanging out with Bryan and Shane... :\
*Cleaning lol
Friday:
*Picking up Mark
*Hanging out til 4:30
*Work 4:45-8:45
*Picking up Mark again
*Bowling alley
OH! Doug! That thing you 'bought' from Spencers- Yeah, they arent out on display anymore, they put them behind the counter lmao
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